Monthly Archives: November 2015

Dealing with alimony

Courts consider a number of factors when determining whether to order spousal support in a particular case. These factors may include such things as the length of the marriage, the total gross income of each spouse, whether a nonworking spouse has the education and background needed to enter the workforce and the age of the parties. When the marriage has been a long one and there is a large disparity between the incomes of the two spouses, alimony may be likely to be ordered.

People have a couple of options when they believe they are going to be required to pay alimony. They can try to negotiate an agreed-upon monthly amount with a specified duration. They might also be able to offer to buy out the other spouse’s potential right to alimony payments in order to prevent having to make continuous monthly payments. Some spouses who stand to receive alimony also choose to forgo it because of their beliefs in self-sufficiency or simply the desire to cut all ties.

When spousal maintenance is set and ordered by the court, the paying spouse will be required to pay the amount each month exactly as ordered. If their financial situation later changes in a substantial way, they may want to see a family law attorney. Through their attorney, the paying spouse can seek to modify the ordered amount to one that is more affordable. The spouse may also file such a request if their former spouse’s financial situation has changed to a degree that they no longer need the payments.

Dean McDermott behind on alimony payments to ex-wife

Now, McDermott is reportedly having legal problems involving the woman he was married to before Spelling. According to reports, McDermott owes about $45,000 in unpaid child support and alimony. One source told Radar Online that McDermott has not made a single monthly payment for the care of his 16-year-old son since February.

McDermott and Spelling may be having financial problems, as several reports have claimed that the couple is living paycheck to paycheck. The couple and their four children moved to a more modest home over the summer and reportedly raised cash by holding a garage sale. Following the Lifetime TV reality show ‘True Tori” in which McDermott was seen attempting to win back Spelling’s trust, McDermott has said that he will no longer be sorting out his personal issues on camera.

When an individual can no longer afford to make alimony or child support payments to an ex-spouse, one or both of the original court orders may need to be modified. An attorney may be able to petition the court for a modification of the alimony and child support orders. To have a payment order modified, the ex-spouse who is obligated to make the payments must in most cases show proof that there has been a significant change in financial circumstances.

Out with the old and in with the new this Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving is one of my favorite times of year. It is a day out of the hustle and bustle of normal fast-paced life to be with family and give thanks for everything you have, and in some cases, give thanks to what has come to an end – like an unhealthy marriage. However, even if you are happy to be divorced, Thanksgiving and other holidays may still be a difficult and emotional time. Traditions that were made as a family are now painful reminders of what ended, and holidays may be spent without the presence of your children. If you are dealing with divorce or separation, here are a few ways that can help you be thankful and enjoy Thanksgiving again.

Create New Traditions

Holidays after divorce and separation will be filled with nostalgic memories of previous holidays spent with your ex. Maybe your ex-spouse always cooked the turkey while you entertained family and friends in the home you no longer live in. New traditions will help keep you focused on the future and the things and relationships you have maintained throughout the hard times. If you have the kids this Thanksgiving, create a new tradition for just you and them, which could be anything from a certain craft project to a trip to the mountains. For those wanting to give back, consider volunteering with a charity or local soup kitchen this Thanksgiving. And for the athletes and adventurers, sign up for a turkey trot in your area or perhaps a place you have been wanting to visit.

Surround Yourself with your Support Team

Holidays are a busy time for everyone, especially Thanksgiving, but friends and family may be surprisingly eager to pull up an extra chair and break bread with you this year. Just because you are feeling down doesn’t mean you should spend the holiday alone. If a friend or family member offer an invitation to join them this Thanksgiving, accept that invitation. Not only will it keep your mind off the poignant memories of the past, but will help you be thankful for the relationships you have now. If you are concerned you might bring the party down, try talking to someone beforehand so that negative feelings are kept at bay and you can relax and enjoy the festivities.

Treat Yourself

If your ex has the kids and your friends and family are off celebrating on their own, or you just don’t feel up to socializing, treat yourself this Thanksgiving. As always, there are myriad of businesses open on Thanksgiving, and the day after, offering the best deals of the season. Take some time to catch up on reading or movies you have wanted to indulge in, or tackle that house project you never seem to have time for. If the kids are away, coordinate a phone call or face time visit with them. Remember, they will be coping with the change in tradition as well. However you spend your Thanksgiving, make sure you take care of yourself.

Life transitions are never easy, and holidays may escalate your emotions. By taking steps in a positive direction and embracing your new life, you’ll be able to begin enjoying the holidays again. This Thanksgiving remember to give thanks. Make a list of everything and everyone you are thankful for, I bet the list is much longer than you expect.