Monthly Archives: December 2016

Dealing with late-in-life divorces in North Carolina

 

Many older individuals are getting divorced. Studies show that between 1990 and 2014, the rate of newly divorced people age 50 or older has doubled. Gray divorces, as they are called, can be significantly different from divorces of people who are younger. Along with the fact that older individuals tend to worry less about issues related to child custody and support, senior divorcees are often more concerned about how to handle retirement.

Retirement and issues related to it are often a focus because people have less time to replace savings funds. Many individuals who are married assume that they will have two retirement accounts to rely on when they stop working. However, after a divorce, older individuals may need to push back their retirement date or figure out a way to live on less.

Individuals who end their marriage when they are older may also need to consider working several years longer. Additionally, a divorcee may want to consider selling their home to keep living expenses down. These solutions may not be attractive, but a reduced income may necessitate it.

People who are going through a divorce should focus on doing what they can to ensure that their life will be as easy as possible following the end of their marriage. It may be tempting to fight for marital property that has sentimental value, such as a home, but this may not always be the best financial choice. A lawyer could help someone determine which assets they should peruse and help them make a case for these assets during negotiations.

Compromising when one parent moves after divorce

 

North Carolina parents who get a divorce may initially focus on living near one another so that their children’s lives are less disrupted, but that might change if one parent begins a relationship with someone who does not live nearby. That parent might eventually decide to move to live closer or with their new partner. When this occurs, it may change the custody and visitation schedule, and the stress of longer commutes may fall primarily on one parent.

The problem here is that if the parent who feels overburdened refuses to drive the children the added distance, it is ultimately the children who lose out. Anger at a former spouse is not unusual, and one study found that a third of men and half of women are still angry at a spouse a decade after the divorce. It can be difficult for parents to keep a child’s best interests in mind when they are dealing with anger and frustration toward their former spouse. Mediation might be one way parents can start to communicate constructively about this difficult situation.

Compromises after a move may include reducing or increasing child support or one parent getting more time with the child than they had before. The child might even choose to go with the parent who is making the move.

Relocation and other major modifications in child custody or support may involve returning to court and another legal agreement. In some cases, a parent may have additional concerns such as abuse or the possibility of an international abduction. If this is the case, the parent might want to discuss those concerns with their attorney and find out what steps they can take to protect their child. However, outside of these mitigating circumstances, experts generally agree that contact with both parents is better for children.