North Carolina parents who are getting a divorce and who are also dealing with domestic violence might want to consider some myths that surround abuse and child custody. For example, a separation does not always result in a child being safe from domestic violence.
One expert says she has often seen a parent try to use the child as a pawn to manipulate the other parent. She also feels that very young children should not have overnight visits with the noncustodial parent because it disturbs their sense of stability and security.
One myth about child custody is that the parent who is not abusive will automatically get full custody. This is not the case with all victims. One problem is that the victim may suffer from psychological problems or may be unable to obtain steady, well-paying employment. The courts, siding with the best interests of the child, might award custody to the other parent on the grounds that the abused parent appears to be unfit to care for the child.
Parents who are concerned about issues such as abuse, another parent with alcohol or drug problems or similar scenarios might want to discuss these issues with their attorney. Since these are probably not issues that can be worked out through negotiation or mediation, it might be necessary to go straight to litigation and present a judge with the reasons the other parent should not have custody. Some courts believe that in most cases, a child benefits from time with both parents, so the parent seeking custody might want to work out a strategy to use in court in hopes of getting a satisfying outcome.