Considering separation or divorce after the holidays in North Carolina? Learn why January gets called “divorce month,” plus smart first steps for parents.
Every year, once the holiday decorations come down, many couples quietly start asking a hard question:
Is it time to end this marriage?
January has picked up the nickname “divorce month” because lawyers often see an increase in calls and online searches after the holidays. Reports and case trends show that filings often dip in November and December, then rise in the new year as people look for a fresh start.
That does not mean you should divorce in January, or at all. It simply means you are not alone if you find yourself re-evaluating your relationship once the holiday rush is over.
This article is for general educational purposes only and is not legal advice.
Why Many People Wait Until After the Holidays
Couples delay separation or filing for divorce for many reasons, including:
- Protecting children’s routines
Parents may want one more holiday season under the same roof or hope to avoid upsetting family gatherings. - Financial stress
Gifts, travel, and year-end expenses can make it feel impossible to move out or support two households in November or December. - Emotional pressure
Holidays are filled with expectations. Many people feel pressure to be happy, to keep up traditions, and to make it work for extended family. - New year, new perspective
The start of a new year naturally leads people to reflect on what is and is not working in their lives.
By January, the pressure of the holidays has passed. Some people feel more able to look clearly at their situation and gather information about separation and divorce.
Before You Decide: Questions to Ask Yourself
If you are in North Carolina and are weighing separation or divorce, it may help to ask:
- Is there any chance of repairing the relationship safely?
Counseling, individual therapy, or faith-based support may help if both partners are committed and there is no abuse. - Is anyone unsafe in this relationship?
If there is physical violence, threats, or serious emotional abuse, your priority may be safety planning and legal protection, not fixing the marriage. - Do I understand our finances at a basic level?
It can be helpful to have at least a simple picture of what you own, what you owe, and how income and expenses flow each month. - What will this mean for our children’s daily routines?
Think about school, after-school activities, childcare, and how exchanges could realistically work.
You do not have to have all the answers before you contact a lawyer. Part of our role is helping you understand your options under North Carolina law.
How Separation and Divorce Work in North Carolina (Big Picture)
All states handle divorce a little differently. If you are just starting to research, you may find it helpful to learn more about separation agreements in North Carolina – watch this quick video with Attorney Daniel Swain.
Here are a few key points:
- Most spouses must live separate and apart for at least one year before they can file for an absolute divorce, with limited exceptions.
- You do not have to wait a full year to address issues like custody, child support, or domestic violence protections. Those can sometimes be addressed sooner through agreements or court actions.
- Property division (equitable distribution), post-separation support, and alimony can often be resolved through a separation agreement or by asking the court to decide.
Many families never go to trial. Instead, they negotiate and sign a separation agreement that covers property, support, and sometimes parenting arrangements. You can learn more in:
- 5 essential things to consider about separation in North Carolina
- Why you might need a separation agreement
A confidential meeting with a family law attorney can help you understand how these rules apply to your life, without committing you to filing anything.
Smart First Steps in January (or Anytime You Are Considering Divorce)
If you are starting to explore your options after the holidays, consider these practical steps.
- Get legal information early
Talking with an attorney before making big changes can help you avoid unintended problems later. For example, leaving home or changing bank accounts without a plan can have legal and financial consequences.
If you are wondering where to start, you may find The divorce process: what is the first thing I should do? helpful.
- Gather key documents
Try to collect or access:
- Recent paystubs and tax returns
- Mortgage or lease documents
- Retirement and investment statements
- Loan information and major credit card bills
- A list of major assets and debts
This information helps lawyers, financial professionals, and you understand the full picture. Our article on how long divorce takes in North Carolina also explains why good documentation matters for timing and expectations.
- Think about where everyone would live
Consider realistic options such as:
- One spouse remaining in the home for a time
- Selling the home and downsizing
- Short term rental options while things settle
For many people, the question is not just “Can I divorce?” but “What will my life actually look like afterward?” You might also want to read Warning: think now about your financial life after divorce.
- Support your emotional health
Divorce, especially with children, is emotionally heavy. Working with a therapist, coach, or support group can help you think more clearly and communicate more effectively, whether you stay together or separate.
- Keep the kids’ perspective in mind
Try to:
- Avoid arguments in front of children
- Resist sharing adult details about money or relationships with them
- Keep routines, such as school, bedtime, and activities, as consistent as possible
A clear parenting schedule, even a temporary one, can help children know what to expect.
Supporting Children When Separation Follows the Holidays
If you separate soon after the holiday season, children may feel confused or worry that the holidays caused the breakup. You can help by:
- Reassuring them divorce is not their fault
- Explaining, in age-appropriate language, that adults sometimes cannot stay married but will always remain their parents
- Letting trusted adults, such as teachers, counselors, and coaches, know there are changes at home
- Watching for changes in behavior, sleep, or school performance
For more ideas and guidance, you can explore:
- Helping children adjust after separation: what parents can do
- Supporting your teenager during separation and divorce
If your situation involves ongoing conflict, you may also relate to Surviving a high-conflict divorce: signs, stress, and where to get help.
When You Are Not Ready to Decide
Not everyone who calls a lawyer in January files for divorce. Many people simply want to understand:
- What separation would look like in practical terms
- What the financial impact might be
- How custody and parenting time could work for their children
Sometimes that information confirms that divorce is the right next step. At other times, it helps people slow down, work on the relationship, or plan for a possible separation down the road.
Either way, having accurate legal information is more helpful than staying stuck in “what if” scenarios or relying only on internet searches and secondhand stories.
How Triangle Divorce Lawyers Can Help
If you are in Raleigh, Cary, Clayton, Wake Forest, or elsewhere in the Triangle and you are quietly wondering what separation or divorce would mean for your family, our team is here to help you get informed, not to push you into any decision.
In a confidential meeting, we can:
- Explain North Carolina’s separation and divorce requirements
- Walk through potential options for custody, child support, property division, and support
- Discuss immediate concerns like safety, housing, or temporary schedules for the children
- Help you plan next steps at a pace that feels manageable for you
This article is general information, not legal advice. Your circumstances are unique, and a personalized conversation is the best way to get clear guidance.
If you are starting to think about life after the holidays and want to understand your options, you can call us at 919-303-2020 or schedule a confidential meeting with our team.
