By Valerie Grasso (Coach Val), Endurance Coaching and Personal Training
When you’re going through separation, divorce, or a custody dispute, your brain can feel like it’s running nonstop. Consistent exercise can support focus, decision-making, and stress regulation, which can help you feel steadier while you navigate hard conversations and important choices.
Sharpen the saw, what it means in stressful seasons
Have you ever heard the phrase “sharpen the saw”?
Stephen Covey describes it as preserving and enhancing the greatest asset you have.
Your greatest asset is you.
In high-stress seasons, your brain is often carrying more than usual. You may be managing logistics, emotions, tough conversations, and big decisions, all at the same time. That is exactly when protecting your ability to think clearly matters most.
What cognitive functioning includes
When I say, “cognitive functioning,” I mean the brain-based skills you rely on every day, such as:
- Memory, learning new information and recalling it later
- Attention, staying focused and resisting distractions
- Perception, processing information accurately
- Executive function, planning, decision-making, prioritizing, problem-solving
These skills are what help you learn, respond, and cope under pressure.
How exercise supports the brain
Most people understand the physical benefits of exercise (energy, strength, cardiovascular health). What gets missed is that movement also supports the brain systems behind daily functioning.
Exercise supports focus and mental stamina
When your stress is high, focus can feel harder to access. Many people find that consistent movement helps them feel more alert and better able to concentrate on what’s in front of them.
Exercise supports stress regulation and emotional balance
When life feels uncertain, your body can stay in “high alert” mode. Exercise can be a reliable tool for releasing tension and helping your nervous system reset, which matters for communication, patience, and decision-making.
Exercise supports energy and productivity
When you feel more energized, it’s often easier to follow through on tasks that require patience and persistence, like organizing paperwork, responding to emails, or preparing questions for a meeting.
What type of exercise is best for brain support?
You do not need a perfect program. You need consistency.
A strong baseline for most people is aerobic exercise, done regularly.
Examples:
- Brisk walking
- Cycling
- Jogging or easy running
- Swimming
- Dancing
- Rowing
Strength training is also valuable for long-term health, but you can start walking and still get meaningful benefits.
A simple weekly plan for busy schedules
If your schedule is packed, you need a plan that’s simple enough to repeat.
The “Sharpen the Saw” weekly plan (beginner-friendly)
- 3 days per week: 25 to 35 minutes of brisk walking (or similar aerobic activity)
- 2 days per week: 15 to 25 minutes of strength (full-body basics)
- Daily option: 5 to 10 minutes of movement breaks (walk outside, stairs, mobility)
If you have almost no time
Start with:
- 10 minutes per day, 5 days per week
Consistency beats intensity. Once it feels automatic, add time.
Common barriers (and realistic fixes)
“Exercise feels like a luxury”
Try reframing it as support for your brain, not an optional add-on. If your life requires hard decisions, your mental stamina matters.
“I get too tired”
Start smaller and keep it easy. A short walk still counts. You can build momentum without burning out.
“I fall off the routine”
Anchor movement to something you already do:
- Walk after dropping kids off
- Walk during one phone call per day
- Do a short strength session right after your first meeting ends
Alcohol, exercise, and brain health (a note)
Some research suggests aerobic exercise may be associated with healthier brain measures even among heavier drinkers. This does not mean exercise erases the risks of heavy alcohol consumption, but it highlights how protective consistent movement can be.
If alcohol use is a concern for you, consider speaking with a medical professional for individualized support.
When you’re going through a legal family matter, your brain needs support too
Separation, divorce, custody, and other family legal issues can put your mind in constant “alert” mode. Many people notice decision fatigue, trouble focusing, disrupted sleep, and increased stress during this season. When your brain is working overtime, even small amounts of consistent movement can help support attention, emotional regulation, and steadier day-to-day thinking.
This is not about training for a race or changing your body. It’s about giving your nervous system a reset when life feels heavy and high-stakes.
Simple ways to use movement during a legal season:
- Take a 10-minute walk before reviewing documents or preparing for a meeting
- Use a short workout as a “transition” after court, mediation, or a difficult conversation
- Commit to three brisk walks per week as a baseline for stress support
- Add movement breaks when you feel mentally stuck (5 minutes still counts)
If you’re navigating a family law issue in North Carolina, Triangle Divorce Lawyers supports clients in Raleigh, Cary, Clayton, Wake Forest, and surrounding communities with a range of family legal matters, including:
Guidance on choosing a process that fits your situation, including these resources:
Call to action: If you need legal guidance, you can schedule a confidential meeting with our team or call 919-303-2020.
Educational information only, not legal advice. Reading this does not create an attorney-client relationship. This article is also educational only and not medical advice.
Summary and next step support
When you’re facing separation, divorce, custody questions, or another legal issue, it’s normal to feel mentally overloaded. Exercise is not a cure-all, but it can be a practical support for brain health during a high-stress season. Even small, consistent movement can help support focus, emotional balance, and the mental stamina it takes to make decisions, communicate well, and keep moving forward.
If you are navigating a family law matter in North Carolina, you do not have to do it alone.
Call to action: To discuss your situation and next steps, schedule a confidential meeting with our team or call 919-303-2020.
Educational information only, not legal advice. Reading this does not create an attorney-client relationship.
Meet Coach Val
Valerie Grasso (Coach Val) is a fitness coach who creates customized fitness programs for individuals and groups. Her training focuses on flexibility, endurance, strength, and balance.
Coach Val began her fitness journey in the late 1990s and later became a certified running coach in 2008. She has completed six marathons and multiple triathlons, and she uses that experience to help clients start where they are and build steady progress.
Want support building a realistic routine? Learn more at vbgrasso@gmail.com, or call 984-800-2554.
FAQ:
What is the best exercise to do?
The best exercise for you is the one that you will do.
Does exercise help when divorce or custody stress feel overwhelming?
Many people find that consistent movement helps reduce stress and improves their ability to focus. If you’re overwhelmed, start small, even 10 minutes at a time.
Is walking enough to help my brain right now?
Walking is a strong starting point. The best plan is the one you can repeat.
What if my schedule is chaotic because of court dates or co-parenting transitions?
Use “anchors,” like a short walk after drop-off, a walk during one phone call, or a 10-minute reset after a difficult conversation.
Do I need intense workouts to get benefits?
No. Consistency matters more than intensity, especially during stressful seasons.
